Episode #28 A Journey through Music: N'Kenge on Opera, Musical Theater, and Motherhood
Welcome to Living A Vocal Life: A Podcast For Singers!
Welcome to the Living A Vocal Life Podcast, where I interview singers who have succeeded in creating a life in music. You’ll hear from vocalists of all genres, in different stages of their careers, including singers who’ve been on the Billboard charts and those who are teaching the next generation. What do they have in common? They're all performers with amazing stories to tell and experiences to share.
In our conversations, you’ll learn what inspired them to become a singer, the kinds of challenges they’ve encountered, and how they've overcome them. I'll also share what I've learned on my own journey as a singer and educator — practical tools and insights that will help you to live your best, most authentic vocal life.
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In this episode, I had the opportunity to speak with the extraordinary singer and performer N'Kenge. Her vocal range spans five octaves and 11 different languages. She can sing any style of music from Broadway to pop, soul, and opera. Her impressive resume includes leading roles in various Broadway musicals and performances at major venues like Carnegie Hall and Madison Square Garden. Additionally, she has sung for presidents and dignitaries around the world, including President Clinton and President Obama's historic Inaugural Ball.
N'Kenge has performed since she was in grade school and has worked with incredible musicians like Ornette Coleman and Wynton Marsalis. Motown founder, Barry Gordy, describes her as "The most versatile artist I know."
We delve into her early memories of singing and how her parents encouraged her to pursue the arts as a way to channel her incredible energy. Join us as we dive into N'Kenge's life, from her early beginnings in the Bronx, New York, to her journey as a fully realized artist. We discuss the importance of an arts education, techniques for switching between different music styles, and the challenges of balancing a music career and parenting.
N’Kenge in a black dress with a band of diamonds and sparkly necklace.
“Know your worth. You are worthy of the world. And you are worthy of all the gifts that the world can give you. And never look in the mirror and think anything less of that.”
Free online course for singers mentioned in the episode: Becoming A Singer: Setting The Stage To Live A Vocal Life
Theme music for the Podcast was composed by John Smith. He helps me edit the podcast episodes too. (Thanks, honey!)
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A Journey through Music: N'Kenge on Opera, Musical Theater, and Motherhood
Valerie: Hi, I'm Valerie Day, a singer, educator, and creative explorer. You might know me from my work with the Grammy-nominated band Nu Shooz. Welcome to Living A Vocal Life, where I interview singers who have succeeded in creating a life in music. You'll hear from vocalists of all genres, in different stages of their careers, including singers who've been on the Billboard charts and those who are teaching the next generation. What do they have in common? They're all performers with amazing stories to tell and experiences to share.
In our conversations, you'll learn what inspired them to become a singer, the kinds of challenges they've encountered, and how they've overcome them. I'll also share what I've learned on my own journey as a singer and educator, practical tools, and insights that will help you to live your best, most authentic vocal life.
So, what do all those recordings you just heard have in common? They're all sung by the same singer, N'Kenge. N'Kenge's vocal range, spans five octaves and 11 languages. And as you just heard, she can sing any style of music. Motown founder Barry Gordy describes N'Kenge as 'the most versatile artist I know."
N'Kenge made her Broadway debut in Sondheim on Sondheim and originated the role of Mary Wells in Motown The Musical. The New York Post called her performance "electrifying." Motown the musical also received a Grammy nomination for Best Musical Theater Album.
N'Kenge's performed at Carnegie Hall and Madison Square Garden headlined pop and opera concerts with major symphonies across the U.S. and sung for presidents and dignitaries around the globe, including President Clinton, and for President Obama's inaugural ball. Uh, showing her versatility and range. N'Kenge's performed with jazz greats Ornette, Coleman, and Wynton Marsalis. She's also played the lead role in the Elton John, Tim Rice musical Aida and in Marion Caffe's 3 Mo' Divas. Both roles won the singer a nomination for outstanding lead actress in a musical by the Helen Hayes Awards and the Arizoni theater awards.
On the opera stage, N'Kenge's been the principal artist at New York City Opera and Opera, Estate in Italy. And she's toured throughout the Czech Republic as Susanna in La Nozze Di Figaro.
Most recently, N'Kenge was a cast member on Broadway in the revival of the Tony Award-nominated and Olivier Award-winning musical Caroline, or change. Playing the role of the moon, her first aerial role.
N'Kenge's the creator, executive producer, and star of two current projects: Dorothy, Dandridge The Musical about the life and legacy of Dorothy Dandridge, and Forever Summer a tribute to Donna Summer that she's performed at Carnegie Hall.
In this conversation, N'Kenge shares how she discovered her love for singing and performing and the challenges of transitioning from one musical genre to another.
We also talk about her experience raising her daughter while working in the music industry and the importance of arts education for the next generation of artists.
N'Kenge's not only persevered in her life but also for this particular conversation. Technical difficulties and a call from her daughter's school derailed our first two efforts, but we finally made it work on our third try.
And I'm so glad we did.
Valerie: Hi, N'Kenge. Yay. We made it.
N'Kenge: We made it.
Valerie: Third time's a charm.
N'Kenge: Yes
Valerie: I love it. Thank you for your perseverance. In fact, I wanna ask you questions about perseverance later in this interview. Uh, but the first question that I ask every guest, everyone who's on the podcast, is, what is your first memory of singing?
First Memory of Singing
N'Kenge: Ooh. My first memory of singing would be in fifth grade at PS 95 in Bronx, New York, and that was auditions for the You're A Good Man Charlie Brown musical. We had our fifth-grade teacher, Barbara Hartnick, who was a dancer turned teacher and was the teacher that did the musicals for the show.
She cast me as Peppermint Patty, and I was singing Poor Sweet Baby to Charlie Brown, and I was super, super tiny for my age. So in fifth grade, I looked like I was in third grade. And she saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. and
These public schools have big auditoriums bigger than like private schools, but I, uh, remember just being overwhelmed by how big the space was and just taking a few breaths, and singing the song, and then afterwards feeling so much love. Um, and got this standing ovation, and it just, it was a feeling like no other. I'd never experienced that before. And that was the moment where I realized that this was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. If this is the feeling that I could get and I can make this many people happy, then this was something worth pursuing.
Valerie: Right, and it wasn't like you hadn't been involved in music before. You had a piano scholarship at that time.
N'Kenge: Yes. I was playing the piano. I started playing at age three, and I started doing dance classes at age four. So I was doing everything but singing, which was very odd, but I just never knew that I had a voice. You know, like it never, It was never, a focus.
Valerie: And it wasn't really a thing that your family did.
N'Kenge: I'm definitely the first. My mom and dad were told by the doctors that if they wanted to calm me down because I was very active, I was a very active child, that they could either do one or two things. One would be to give me some pills that would sort of bring my energy down, like basically drug me. And put me in extracurricular like the arts. And luckily for me, they chose the extracurricular and, uh, haven't turned back since.
The Power of An Arts Education
Valerie: What, a wonderful thing that you had parents who decided that was the thing to do. I know you've been also involved in arts education.
N'Kenge: Yeah.
Valerie: And so you know the power personally of being able to direct and focus your energy into the arts and how life-saving it is.
N'Kenge: Absolutely. It's very, very important. I'm so saddened that a lot of the arts have been stripped away from the public school system. And you know, we, uh, as a community, have come together and developed programs that go into the arts. You know, Like, a lot of the schools of Juilliard and Manhattan School of music that I went to, you know, I remember being a part of an outreach where we'd go into the schools and prepare them from shows that they would go see at 92nd Street Y. I also worked as a teaching artist through the Orchestra of St. Luke's for a number of years as a college student. So there's a lot of programs out there that really get funding to go into the schools, connect with these, these kids that would not normally have the opportunity to be exposed to music and plays and, and musicals and operas and symphonic concerts.
And so it's really, really wonderful, you know, the community at to the institutions and organizations like really came together and said, that's not right. So we're gonna fix that, and we're gonna create programs to go into the public school system.
Valerie: Yes, because as we know, if, um, if children don't get that opportunity, they don't really have a chance to tell their own stories. And the arts are such an important way to not only tell your story but get to know yourself better through dance, through music. And also experience awe. I mean, these are the things that bring life to being a human on the planet. They're essential, as we discovered in the pandemic. Right? I mean, what were the things that kept people sane? It was the comedies. It was the, you know, the tv, the acting, the music. I mean, these are the things people reached for, for medicine, I think during this, last time that h that were moving out of thankfully. Right?
Broadway Is Back & Live Streaming Is Here To Stay
N'Kenge: Yes. We are moving very quickly into live theater. Broadway is back, and, uh, symphony shows are happening. I mean, there's so much... dance concerts, and It's very close to being normal, as where it was pre-pandemic, It's really great to see that and then see all these kids being enriched by the arts in so many different ways and forms now, you know. Now, like even though we have live performances, there's Zoom, and technology has now found its permanent place because there are ways of being able to reach more people now because of how we had to structure things because of the pandemic.
And now, um, we're realizing like, oh, okay, well, I can't be in that city to make that, but guess what they're doing, a live stream of that performance, you know? So let's go check it out. And that's a new thing too. Because I do a lot of symphonic concerts, and it's just been over the past couple of years where one of those performances is now going to be live-streamed. Which is great for me because I'm like, fantastic! So now I can send a link to all my family and friends who might not necessarily be in that city to watch that concert.
Valerie: Right. People who can't get there physically for whatever reason. Either it's because they can't afford to go, or they aren't able to go because they're stuck at home for whatever reason.
N'Kenge: Of course. And people weren't... symphonies were not doing this five years ago. This was like an absolute no because they're the unions are very strict about recording and protecting their musicians. So it's really, I mean, it's a new chapter that has been added to the music industry because of the pandemic.
Valerie: It's a good thing... It's one of the positives that's come out of this. I wanna get back to your origin story.
First Teacher/Encourager, N'Kenge's Mom
Valerie: So after you found your voice that first time as Peppermint Patty on that stage, it was your mom, I read that was, she wasn't your first teacher exactly, but she was your first encourager. What did she encourage you to do?
N'Kenge: Well, if you said that she was not my first teacher in front of her, she would absolutely have a breakdown. She'd be like, what do you mean I wasn't her first teacher? What! Um, my, yeah, she thought she was my first voice teacher cause she was coaching me in all these songs. All the songs that she liked to listen to were not the most appropriate songs for…
Valerie: Like what? what, was she having you sing?...
N'Kenge: Oh my God. Like one of the first songs I learned was Mtume's Juicy Fruit.
And that was my mom's favorite song. So she was like, let's learn this together, yeah. And she would coach me, and I would sing all those words and not realize what half of those words meant. You know, I'll be your lollipop and all that stuff. And I'm like, now that I think of it, I'm like, oh my God. Um, but my mom was like, yeah, get into it. So this is great. You know, it was just another way that my mom got a chance to connect with me, and you know, she had fun doing it. And you know, I would just sing to all the Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey songs on the radio and pretend I had a microphone which I didn't, you know, I don't know, it was like a water bottle or something.
Valerie: The hairbrush.... The hairbrush microphone.
N'Kenge: Exactly. Hairbrush. Exactly. But it was fun. She would, she was really the first one to get into my head about, like, thinking of the character and the mood, and... So she wasn't a vocal teacher, but she just had a love for music and knew what she liked to hear and what she liked to see. And incorporated all of that in her coaching with me.
Harlem School of The Arts: A Whole New World of Opera
N'Kenge: And then eventually, I transitioned into taking private voice lessons at Harlem School of the Arts. I was on a scholarship there and was studying with Yvonne Hatchet. And she realized, um, that I had a potential for a bigger sound that I had never been exposed to, which was opera.
You know, I was exposed to classical music through dance and piano, but when it came to using your voice for classical music, I was never exposed to that. And she trained me classically. And I was wondering why I was not focusing on my Whitney Houston riffs and why I have to sing this German lieder, and French Chanson, and Italian art songs.
I'm just like... and my teacher's like, darling, you know, she's like, you have to, um, first develop the foundation, which is your technique, you know? Once you have developed your foundation, which was the Bel Canto technique the, the, uh, the Italian technique that was, you know, all the, uh, Bel Canto stars, uh, primadonnas and, uh, would, would learn, um, dated back from La Scala and, you know, Maria Callas and Joan Sutherland and, Pavaratti and you know, all the greats and Leontyne Price you know, you have so many Bel Canto technique singers that just flourished in the opera world.
And I, it was a whole new world to discover and the costumes and the orchestra and like, it just was a completely different world than what I had been exposed to, which was Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Mtume, Temptations, you all the Motown. My mom was a big Motown fan, so I, all I heard was Motown music in my household, and definitely not, you know, La Traviata or the Magic Flute, you know, so it was definitely a learning curve, being able to be exposed to that, and then realizing that my voice could do that. I think that was the biggest discovery that as I was training and being groomed for this world, unbeknownst to me, I fell in love with it and developed this appreciation for something that was just so different and so new and fresh, and you know, it was wow, wow, this is cool. Like, like, great. So I, you know, I'm, I'm just a simple girl from the Bronx, you know? It's just I was never exposed to that world. So it was great. It was great. So, my mom officially was my first voice teacher or trainer, but Yvonne Hatchet at Harlem School of The Arts was the one who truly honed my talents into a technique that I can still say, uh, supports my singing to this day.
Valerie: It's such good training for all the other styles, too, don't you think? I mean, kind of like lifting heavier weights, and then when you take the weight off, it's like, oh, well, that's easy. Um, when I was teaching, I'd use classical pieces with my students. None of them were singing, classically performing classically, but I know it really changed their abilities and my own.
My mom was a classical singer. She sang on opera stages, and so I never was even gonna become a singer cuz I couldn't do that. That was not something that going to be a part of my life. But then singing kind of took me over. And when I developed vocal nodules, I actually found a voice teacher that really trained me in technique and it helped me to have a career. I would not have had a career if not for that technique.
And he also used classical pieces, and I discovered that I actually could make those sounds. Not like my mom. She's, she was a world-class singer, but I could make those sounds. And the thing that really changed for me was how different it feels in your body to make those sounds.
It's just so fun, to feel that when it works! It's just there's nothing like it.
So you got in trouble, though, for wanting to sing other styles of music while you were training to be an opera singer. Tell us about that.
Crossover vs. Classical
N'Kenge: Oh, yes. Um, I bad girl. Uh, in all the good ways. In all the good ways.
Yes. I, my, Yes, my, my vocal teacher, Edith Bers, was my teacher at both Manhattan School Music and the Juilliard School, and she basically said that as I was going to be developing my technique as a Freshman in college, I needed to not sing any other styles. of music. You know, know, I had to focus, so I said, okay, no problem, no problem at all. What a lie that was.
Valerie: I, I can see your fingers being crossed behind your back.
N'Kenge: Exactly. I'm like, of course, I'm not gonna sing anything, nothing but opera. And next thing you know, I do a gig or two on the weekends, like singing my heart out, like Aretha Franklin songs, and she would hear it. She would hear it in my sound. She could actually hear; she's like, N'Kenge, what did you do this weekend? I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, did you do any singing or, you know, like, I mean, she, she could hear it!
So she told me, she said, my dear lady, you know, she was, oh, she was so classy. She still is just the epitome of class. And she was so regal, and she said, I can hear, I can hear it in your voice. I can hear the difference when you are singing pop music because it's a different sound, and I can hear that the purity of your classical sound has been, um, manipulated or, or has, uh,
Valerie: Compromised.
N'Kenge: Compromised! That's the word I was looking for. It has been compromised, and we cannot have that being compromised as we are developing your technique. And so I said, I'm so sorry. won't happen again. Um, a few more times. She did notice, it happened again, and then after that, she did not notice anything, and she was very, very proud of the fact that I was listening to her and not compromising my sound by singing other styles of music. But in reality, I had developed the technique of being able to do it without it compromising my sound, so she could never know that I was singing Whitney Houston songs on the weekend.
Valerie: Wow. So in a way, she helped train you to be able to go back and forth between styles.
N'Kenge: Yes. Out of force of trying to keep it a secret.
Valerie: Amazing.
N'Kenge: And so I never really, I never learned how to belt or anything that was just automatic, that was just something that was built in. So my training was always classical music. So interesting enough, anything that wasn't opera, um, was all self-taught and, self-taught in a way to be able to seamlessly do it and mask it so that it wouldn't affect the classical sound.
Valerie: Can you say more about the technical aspects of that? Is it more of a mindset, or is it also a physical, like we were talking about classical being like lifting heavier weights? Is it just unweighting the voice for different styles of music, or is it using like lower register or chest voice and upper register/head voice differently?
N'Kenge: Yeah, interesting enough, I feel that my pop singing helped my lower register for classical music. It made it stronger, um, because of the belting. So being able to connect and resonate with that chest sound was a benefit for when I had to go into my lower register for certain roles. I would never, ever, dare tell my vocal teacher that, um, but interesting enough because was self-taught and learned how to do pop first, then when I was going back and forth, it was more of a sensation that I was. , resonating with when it came to placement of my sound versus a technical aspect because, at that time, I was too young to understand, like, you know, I was just learning the technique, so I didn't know how to be able to verbalize that
Valerie: Plus, it... that takes too long. If you have to access your brain to say, okay, now I'm going to tweak this and tweak that, that's a whole process. That's linear, where when you call for a feeling, it's just there.
N'Kenge: It's immediate. The feeling is immediate. You know the sensation. You're like, ah, okay. Here we are. This is the spot I'm in my, my, nice spot of, it's right there. My teacher. would call it like the third eye. you know, sing through your third eye, like to create that resonance, so you can cut through the orchestra because classical music, no one's being amplified, you know, it's all about the ping in your sound.
Valerie: Those higher frequencies cut through the orchestra.
N'Kenge: Yes, Exactly. And so I do. Remember, um, really, when I was going back and forth and also developing the, um, the mix sound, that I would not hurt myself. So I was able to develop a really solid mix sound. So it sounded like I was belting really high when I wasn't. It was just mix.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
N'Kenge: It's just a matter of manipulating the texture of the sound and using percentages of like head voice and chest voice and knowing how much percentage of each to create the sound that I wanted to create. And, being able to vocalize both classically and vocalize both with belting and mixing making it smooth so it doesn't sound like I have any type of break.
Valerie: Right. And that's what makes it so wonderful to listen to you. We could talk about technique, artistry…
N'Kenge: Exactly. Follow me on Instagram Diva N'Kenge at Diva N'Kenge on Instagram if you want to have a voice lesson.
Valerie: There you go. Get in touch with N'Kenge for voice help and coaching.
An Offer From Motown
Valerie: So back to your, back to your story in terms of career. You got your degree at the Manhattan School of Music, and then at Julliard, you got a masters in singing. but while you were still in high school, Motown, through some family connections, actually came to you and wanted to give you a record deal, but you, but your mom, said no.
N'Kenge: I was 12 years old. And, um, I would have, it would've been a developmental record deal, where they would develop me as an artist first and then put me out. You know, go in the studio and record songs and do an album and all of that stuff.
Valerie: And they wanted you to move to LA, too, right?
N'Kenge: Yes. And that was where the no came in.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
N'Kenge: My mom was like, absolutely not. I am not moving to L.A… N'Kenge is going to be focusing on her education, and if this is something that she decides on doing later on, then that would be her choice. But at this point, you know, she did not have the starry eyes like a lot of these other, um, parents of young potential singers.
Valerie: Thank god. By this time, she was a single parent and had her own business, and that must have been, that would've been really hard to leave and be able to support you.
N'Kenge: Well, then she would've basically, my uncle was like, oh, I'll take care of her. And she was like, and no, you won't.
Valerie: Mmm. Good choice, mom. But I bet you were a little frustrated as a 12-year-old cause, or, or maybe you weren't!
N'Kenge: Honestly, I don't think I knew the importance of that at that time. Right. Because I wasn't really exposed to that world. So you know I hear that I got a record deal. Oh, that's cool. You know, and, um, moving to LA, wow, that's different. And then, No, you're not gonna do it. We're gonna focus on school.
Okay. I love school. Cool. You know what I mean? It was very much like boo boop boop. Done. All right, great. I'll continue, like doing my music lessons and things like that. I don't realize, um, what. that could have done to my life if I had actually done that.
Valerie: And that was probably a good thing too because if you'd been just even a few years older, that could have been a big bone of contention between you and your mom
N'Kenge: Yes.
Valerie: So you just let it go.
N'Kenge: Yeah. Let it go! Go. You know what? No. Doesn't bother, you know, doesn't bother me anyway. And it was cold in New York. Yes. That song works.
Valerie: Frozen.
N'Kenge: Yes, it works. It's perfect for this scenario. Um, but yes, it's, the idea was, and I'm glad that I didn't because I wouldn't have been exposed to the classical world.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
N'Kenge: It was strictly Motown, you know, so even though Motown was so big, and it's still big, and it's like, you know, the Blueprint of America, you know, back in the sixties.
But there's more to music than Motown. Right? there's a whole world of different styles of music. And for opera, there's so much training that goes into opera when it comes to the languages and specific dancing for, you know, when you are doing these operas and the Minuette and the Baroque, and, there's so many different layers of training that we have to go through, that I went through at Manhattan School of Music and Julliard, I wouldn't trade that in for anything. It just made me a full, a fully realized artist.
And my, my. specialty is the transitioning from style to style, which I would've never been exposed to at such a young age if I had just went in that direction.
Becoming A Singer Announcement
Valerie: I just want to take a moment to thank you for being here. I know you have a lot of choices when it comes to podcasts and I'm grateful that you've chosen to listen to this one.
Before, returning to the interview with N'Kenge, I wanted to share some big news. The course for singers I've been working on for the last few years is finally on my website.
Becoming A Singer was created for the aspiring career vocalist, but whether you're taking your first steps on your musical journey, have been singing and performing for a while and need a refresh, or are a curious lifelong learner, the course has something for everyone.
There are six modules, dozens of videos, discovery, worksheets, and more that encompass everything a singer needs to know before stepping onto a stage. Things like mindsets. Skillsets. You're relationships with your instrument or your body, the songs you sing, your bandmates, and your audience. These topics and more have been scripted, videotaped, edited, and lovingly placed in an online home on my website.
My goal in creating the course is to help you step out on stage with confidence and a new sense of purpose. Ready to share your authentic voice with the world. But there's one more piece of news. I have decided to give the course away for free. I want to make it available to anyone who needs it.
Now you may be thinking, what's the catch? Well, there isn't one. If you'd like to read more about the course and my decision to gift it rather than sell it, just head to LivingAVocalLife.com or look for the links in this episode's show notes. If you love to sing, please take a look. And if you find value in the course, please share it with someone who might find it helpful too.
And now, back to N'Kenge.
Different Styles. Different Planets.
Valerie: So, as an artist, it seems like you're really fulfilled singing all these styles of music, but as someone who also has to have a career in the music business, has that been difficult to move from one world to the other. Cuz the classical world and the R&B world and the pop music world, and Broadway, they all seem like they're different planets.
N'Kenge: Yes. Yes. I think the... they are different planets. I think the world that has gotten the most beaten would be the opera world because I first started out wanting to be an opera singer. And I started being unavailable to do auditions for operas because I was busy working and dropped by my classical agent because they couldn't make money off me cuz I was always busy doing a show.
So I couldn't be in New York to do the opera auditions that they would come in every November, whatever, for their next season. And so, you know, it was very, very specific, the opera world where you know, the opera companies come, and they do their auditions for seasons, you know? And, um, if you're not there, you can't audition, and you can't be considered, right?
And so if only we could fast forward and now do like self-tapes, but that wasn't part of that, you know. And also it's very, you know, the whole self-tape thing. I mean, we did it because of the pandemic. But luckily, people are now kind of moving away from that.
You know, it's great for TV and film because cameras is always like up close on you, but for theater, when you have to showcase your talent and your personality on a huge stage, doing a self-tape where it's this like little square, um, doesn't do you justice.
And so, yeah. So I started working more in the other fields and opera, you know, it takes, takes a long, the opera process of putting on a production is much more, lengthier than a musical.
You have some summer festivals, People two weeks, they put up a musical. And you can't do that with opera. Some scenarios they do and they obviously have to make sure everyone like, has done those roles like multiple times so that that you can just go in. But normally, when you're dealing with staging and orchestra rehearsals is a much longer process.
Um, and then also operas aren't running as long. You have like a series, of opera performances throughout a year for these opera companies. Whereas a musical, you could be like, doing Phantom of the Opera for 10 years.
So it's very different. But then you're also singing eight shows a week. And for opera, oh my God, you could never do eight shows a week for an opera. Like your voice would be dead. Like you wouldn't even get through Like this is crazy.
Transitioning From Opera To Musical Theater With Elton John's Aida
N'Kenge: So Elton John's Aida was my very first musical that transitioned me from opera to theater, and I just remember the first week singing Aida for eight shows a week, and I was like, oh my God, whoa, I'm gonna have to pace myself, right? Because it's just bang. I mean, that role is relentless. I had to choose Aida to be the very first role to transition me into the theater world and it was a heavy, heavy task. And I felt it vocally. I really felt it. And because with opera, I mean you, when you do an opera performance, that's why they always have double casts.
You know, you do an opera, you have the A cast and the B cast, and you o you do opening night, and then it's a different cast that's doing the next night. Like they never have you do two operas back to back.
Valerie: Right. You need a day of rest in between.
N'Kenge: Because you're singing, it's such demanding singing.
Valerie: You're lifting all that weight, and you have to have incredible stamina to do that. And if you bulk up the muscle too much, getting back to the technique part, it's like you're lifting weights without stretching, and then you bulk up, and you don't have the high notes, you don't have the flexibility for, you know, the movement in your voice.
N'Kenge: Yes, absolutely. And the funny thing is, like in musical theater, people like they could push, push a sound, make it last, whereas in opera, you know, the more you push, the worse it gets. You can't, you can't push through, you know what I mean? It's all about like, you know, if you want that height of that sound and you want those notes to float, then you have to do the complete opposite and make sure that everything's relaxed and that sound is just soaring through.
I, I love them both. I.
I've always wanted to sing at the Metropolitan Opera House, and I still have not given up that dream. I still want to do that, but I'm gonna have to do that, um, in a, I'll have a different journey in getting to the Met.
Versus being like straight opera, getting to the Met, you know, because they've been open to a lot of musical theater singers crossing over, like Kelly O'Hara and Betsy Wolf. There are a lot of singers that have that legit sound that have performed at the Met. So why can't it be me?
Valerie: Right? Why can't it be you?
N'Kenge: I still got some strong years to go
Valerie: Yes, you do. And you have good technique. So that means that you'll be able to sing for as long as you want to, which is, yeah.
Parenting & A Music Career
Valerie: So let's pivot here to talking about navigating parenthood and a music career because that's one of the other things that's been on my mind lately, and I'm going to be doing a future podcast episode that focuses completely on that.
Many women. throughout time have had to try to navigate children and working. Your mom was a great example of that, being a single mom and raising you. But I think artists and performers have some unique challenges in that way.
Uh, your daughter, Jahzara, was born in 2014 . And from what I've seen on Instagram, she sounds a lot like you. She's super energetic. Tiny, cute. She's totally a ham in front of the camera. She loves to perform. So I have a few questions to ask you about parenting and childhood, but I'm gonna start with this one. How do you get your work done now that you're a mother? What's changed from before parenthood to now?
N'Kenge: Mm, I have to, um, allocate time specifically to do my work when I am not with her. because it's really important for me. I mean, listen, I can't choose all the time. There's definitely times where I'm working and, you know, home with her. Right?
So can't avoid that. But now I try and do all of my work and interviews like this when she's she's school, and so, I have time from after I drop her off at school to when it's time to pick her up at three o'clock to do all the different things that I need to do. then I will also be up late at night, so after she goes to sleep, I'll do some work even though my husband will be like, come to bed, come to bed, honey, you know, and I just got just a couple of more things I need to do, a few more documents I need to print out, you know, things like that.
So, it's just kind of finding the pockets of time. And then, other times, you just gotta turn it off and be totally focused and present because these moments don't last forever. And I want to be as present as possible in her life so that she's not 18 years old, unlike what Right. You know, it's, it's...
Valerie: And she's looking at you and saying, what happened, mom? You know? You weren't here for me. What? Yeah.
N'Kenge: Yes. And there are times it's not, it's not always perfect. There are times where she's mommy, why do you always have to be on the telephone? And I have to explain to her, well, mommy works on a telephone. Like, it's not just me. Like I'm not just, you know, searching the web.
You know? I'm answering emails on the phone. I'm like, it's turned, the phone has turned into like my workstation. No one's walking around with their computers anymore. Right. So you're getting all your emails. I'm responding to emails. I'm sending documents, sending attachments, it's like, All on my telephone.
Right? So she's seeing that. And so I have to explain to her, and I'm very transparent with her. I'm like, mommy has to work right now. This is work. Like Mommy has to go on the email, she has to send things. And in order for you to have all the wonderful lessons that you're doing on a weekly basis, all that, that robotics club that you like so much after school, the piano lessons, the dance classes, all that stuff has to be paid for by mommy and daddy.
So this is my version of work and when I go and perform. So I have to, like, I always have to set it straight for her, so she knows that mommy is working hard because I'm trying to make sure that not only am I pursuing my dream and my passion, but I'm trying to create a legacy to pass on to her. And I'm trying to give her the opportunities, all the opportunities I can possibly give her, that she could have to pursue whatever she wants to pursue, right? And have that training and that exposure. So I am very vocal about that with her. And so I feel like because of being that transparency and being vocal about that, she understands it more when she sees me working. And she loves to be at my shows, and she, um, I did a show just this past week, and it was on Valentine's. And she said mommy, what are we doing for Valentine's Day?
You know, and my husband was out of town, and I said, well, mom, mommy has a show. But it's Valentine's Day. She calls it the Day of Hearts. And we're supposed to have like a Valentine's dinner together. And at that time, I had a sitter in place, and she had dance rehearsal anyway, so I'm like, she's gonna be at dance rehearsal.
But she was out of dance rehearsal in time. I said, okay, I'll get the sitter to bring you into the city to see my concert. So she came into the city, and she sat at my table. And my girlfriend, like, took a picture of her and saw her like singing with me...
Valerie: Oh, that's wonderful.
N'Kenge: ...table. And so she, and so she was looking at the lyrics and like I was singing Never Enough From The Greatest Showman and as one of her favorite songs. And so, it's those moments that we create. Right. You know, So even though I wasn't, it wasn't the typical, let's sit down and have dinner, you know, Valentine's dinner, It was still a wonderful experience for her to be at the theater with me, and she was having dinner with me when I wasn't singing, and she got to experience that.
So I try to incorporate her fully into my life. Not just mommy has to go to work, but like, you wanna come with mommy to go to work? Right? When I have those opportunities. She'll travel with me when I do my symphony concerts. And like, sometimes I've taken her outta school for a day or two so that she can be with me, um, on the road doing a symphonic concert.
And then I've also incorporated her in shows. Like I.. Fort Worth Symphony, we did a holiday concert, and I asked the conductor if it was OK for her to do a duet with me. And she did. And she was so professional. And I can't even imagine. Like I've never had that kind of experience at eight years old, And you have this eight-year-old who walks on stage, and when I'm introducing her in the middle of the song, this huge sound of applause from like a 3000-seat house and she just walks on stage just, totally cool.
And, and I'm, and just with the full orchestra and then back. And then I didn't even know I, the conductor, and I watch each other for a cutoff, right? And I do like a hand movement. And I didn't know that she was doing a hand movement with me. I saw a video of it because she's behind me, you know, like I'm, me and the conductor are eye to eye, and she's on the other side of me. So he's watching me, and I'm like, yeah, boom. And I do the hand, and I saw a video of it, and she did it exactly with me,
It's like, wow. Like, so she's holding her own, you know? And whether she's gonna do this for, um, a career, who knows? But at least she has that confidence level of being able to hold a room, you know? Whether she's singing on stage or whether she is introducing a cure for cancer.
So she's gonna have that fire, and it makes me so proud.
So, parenting is hard, but hard in a good way because you just wanna put all your heart into it. You just, you wanna be the best you wanna be. I like, I wanna be the best mom, and I wanna be the best mentor, and I wanna give her everything I could possibly do. But at the same time, not spoil her and at the same time make her an independent individual so that I don't have to worry when it's time for her to leave the nest and be solid as to like what her passion is and be able to speak up when you know she wants something and to, not take no for an answer if it's something she solely believes and is the right thing to do.
And with everything that has happened with, um, the Black Lives Matter and so much that's happening socially too, and, you know, she's involved in that too. Like, I've had her with me for some of these marches, you know, these peaceful marches here in New Jersey.
And so she is like in it to win it. Like, totally like, I mean, kids, not just her, but just this new generation that has been exposed to so many different things. It's been wonderful to see how they're gonna turn out as adults, you know, with these movements and and making a difference in this new world that we live in.
So my goal is to raise her as a leader. And to raise her as a strong, fierce, smart, talented woman.
Valerie: I love that. Yeah. She, I don't know. There's so much pressure on young girls, especially because of social media. In fact, I just read something recently about how a really high percentage of middle, middle school-aged, and high school-aged girls even contemplate suicide because they just feel so much, and they don't know how to deal with those feelings.
So raising your daughter to be, to know herself, to be a good human, to have resilience, to have, to know when to ask for help, all of those things seems like a really important piece of being a mom in these times, you know?
So, If she does decide to have a career in the performing arts and she came to you asking for guidance about whether to do that or not, what would you tell her?
N'Kenge: I would tell her that if this is something that she is absolutely passionate about, she can't see herself do anything else in the entire world, then pursue it, and I will support her every step of the way.
Valerie: Sometimes I've told my students, if there's anything else that you can think of to do, keep singing as your first love, and don't make singing pay your bills. Because it's not for everyone in that way.
N'Kenge: It isn't for everyone, but you know, people say, oh, be a lawyer. You know, like these, jobs that are considered secure jobs, right? you know, we are in a business, I know a lot of unemployed lawyers and a lot of unemployed doctors, right? So, it's a catch-23. There's no point in pursuing something unless you have that passion behind it, and you're gonna make it happen if you like; you were 250% behind it.
If You Could Go Back In Time...
Valerie: If you could go back in time and talk with a younger version of yourself, what would you say to her? And how old would your younger self
N'Kenge: be?
My younger self would be 10 years old. and it was when both my parents decided to divorce. And I would tell my younger self that none of it is your fault and this talent that you've just discovered singing is going to get you through so many hurdles in life. And just keep your eye on the prize. And don't think of yourself as less than the other students that have two parents in their home. Like there is something really special about you and your mom. Know your worth. You are worthy of the world. And you are worthy of all the gifts that the world can give you. And never look in the mirror and think anything less of that.
Valerie: Well, thank you for your time today and for persevering with this interview as we made our way through technical difficulties and the world of parenting. I really appreciate you, and I look forward to hearing what you do next.
All right, my dear, take good care.
N'Kenge: Thank you so much. All right. Have a wonderful day.
Valerie: Thank you for listening to this episode of Living A Vocal Life. If you enjoy the conversations here and want to support the podcast, now you can; whether you're listening on your favorite podcast app or my website, you can buy me a virtual cup of coffee.
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For complete show notes and a transcription of this episode, you can head to my website, livingavocallife.com.
In addition, you'll find videos of my guests performing and links to all their socials and websites. If you're a singer, there's even more to explore. There's a resource page with free downloads, links for your inner singer and your music career, plus more podcast episodes and a blog about all things related to living your own vocal life.
I'd also love to hear from you. So please connect with me via my website or on Facebook and Instagram @valeriedaysings or Twitter @valerieday.
Until next time be well, keep singing, and thanks again for listening.
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If you’d like to support the podcast, please buy me a (virtual) coffee! Your contribution (the price of a steaming cup of java) will fuel the price of this website, the apps I use for creation, and the 40-plus hours it takes to create each episode. Thank you!
